Yesterday, I was getting ready for the Nahko concert, feeling so excited and grateful. And almost immediately, a few seconds later – I started worrying.
“What if we get there late and get bad seats? What if I’m tired and can’t enjoy it fully… What if.”
Instead of sitting there and expanding in my feel-good feelings, I had to bring myself down. This is a microscopic example, but I do it often.
And I caught myself doing it this time, because I just finished reading The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks, PhD on self-sabotage.
He says that we all have a certain level of how much love, success, and joy we allow ourselves. And when we exceed that level, when things start going really well in one or more areas of our lives, we’ll often unknowingly sabotage ourselves to get back into the familiar zone where we feel in control.
We sabotage ourselves in many different ways: worry, criticism (of others and self), deflecting compliments, picking fights, getting sick or hurt, etc.
Smashing Our Glass Ceiling
For me, my relationship is going so well. I’m feeling more joyful, peaceful, and safe than ever. And all of a sudden, I’m getting sick here and there. I’m moody and irritable about little things. I start feeling insecure.
And as I step more into my purpose, I go from feeling incredibly thrilled one day, to riddled with self-doubt and criticism the next.
As much as I think I enjoy feeling buoyant, peaceful, and in love, it scares me to feel that good. It feels great to fly high and work toward my dreams, but if I tune into the subtleties underneath, I can see I’m scared to fully believe.
We’re programmed to worry and think this can’t possibly last. We’re waiting for the other shoe to drop. And so, without knowing it, we sabotage ourselves in both tiny and large ways.
When was the last time you felt like this, after a breakthrough in your career, relationship, finances, health, or creativity?
Transforming Worry
Gay Hendricks says, “Next time you worry, ask yourself: What positive thing is trying to come through?”
And when you tune into that positive feeling, you’ll find a message carrying gratitude and hope.
Ask yourself: How much love, joy, peace, intimacy, abundance, and success do I allow myself to experience?
We want to feel good, and we want to feel happy – but do we even allow ourselves to bask in those feelings when they arise?
How long do we REALLY enjoy them before we start worrying again?
I won’t be able to stop worrying overnight… but I want to become aware of it when I do.
And maybe, I can transform all the worrying about the things I can’t control into gratitude for being alive, and for caring so much.
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Love,
Ashmi
