My heart is opening. And as I open more and more, my entire perspective shifts, and I see how closed I was before.
In meditation, I can feel the layers of protection I’ve created over time, like heavy weights on my chest. I wanted to protect myself from being fully seen, rejected for who I am, and hurt. I was trying to protect myself from feeling too much, loving too much – bracing myself for the pain of imaginary loss.
And truthfully, I wanted to protect myself from the fear that I am not enough.
Fear closed my heart over and over again – sometimes softly like the petals of a flower, and other times abruptly like a clam snapping shut. It made me pull away, holding friends, family, and loved ones at arms’ length.
I yearned for closeness and love, and at the same time, I pushed it away.
I didn’t want to be a burden to anyone, and I didn’t want them to be a ‘burden’ to me. I protected my energy, my space, my own peace. I was creating a false sense of security and independence.
Now, I see those fear-based thoughts in a new light. Are they true? Is this how I want to live? And the more I looked at my limiting beliefs, the sillier they seemed.
This fear is an illusion. Lack and unworthiness are illusions, rearing their ugly heads every time we forget who we truly are.
I choose to release all of that now. There is no need to protect. I am whole. And even if there’s pain along the way, I’ll be okay. I’ll be able to transmute it from a higher perspective. Everything is unfolding perfectly for my expansion.
Why should I give up vibrancy, aliveness, and thrill in my life for a mere illusion? Enough. I’ve been protecting and holding for too long.
I choose to open my heart each time I feel it closing. I choose to melt the ice that has built over the years with compassion, openness, and childlike wonder.
And most of all, I choose to open my heart to myself.
I know I have my own connection to source and infinite love within me. There’s no need to withhold it or look for it elsewhere. The paradox is – the moment I understand that, love flows out of me and back into my life abundantly… because the more I love myself, the more I can share it with the world.
Magically as I wrote this, my friend Tara sent me this song, providing beautiful words on the joy of opening our hearts to the unknown.
When I open, I can truly let in the abundance and dazzling depth of this human experience.
Do I want to walk through life guarded and protected? Or do I want to dance, flow, and revel in its depth? I choose to dance. Even if I may stumble and look silly, I choose to dance.
It is time.
The cost of not opening your heart is the depth of your own life. It is your own soul’s longing.
The love in my heart, and in your heart, is so bright. Blinding. Massive. But I’ve kept it shielded, letting it shine in small doses… Afraid of its own brilliance, afraid to feel so deeply.
Enough shielding.
I want to let my love flow and explode all over the world. I want to share it with no attachments or expectations, simply because that is what love does.
With my heart warm and open, today I experience a vibrancy to the world I didn’t see before. The colors of the flowers pop on my path. My eyes soften, seeing the passerby with love. I see their pain, I see their joy, I know who they are as light. I smile at a child on the street, and he instantly bursts into a wide smile.
I create my reality from within. And so, this frequency of love radiates from my heart and transforms my experience of a regular day. I feel so grateful for the gift of this experience and what it has revealed to me.
I want to feel life, not observe and analyze it from afar. I want to swim and splash in the warm waters, even if there may be jellyfish. I want to be all in, 100%.
Breathing life deeply into my lungs, I feel a lightness expanding in my chest. I want to breathe aliveness into the world. I can’t help but share it with others. It flows outward naturally until we’re all dancing and laughing.
This is bliss. This is freedom. I don’t want to compromise anymore.
This connection to the love I have within, and the remembering of who we truly are, is worth prioritizing every day until it becomes my natural state.
It is worth my life.
Reminders for Opening Your Heart
Every time I feel my heart closing, I hope to remember to practice these tools so I can tap into my heart again. It’s much simpler than we think, because our natural state beneath all the fear is love.
- Meditation. Focusing on the heart, visualize golden or white light from the crown flowing down into your heart. Picture it glowing brighter and brighter, melting and washing away any resistance or fears. Think of the people you love, and really feel your love for them. Then picture spreading this love to your community, strangers, enveloping the rest of the world.
- Keep a Silly Fear Log. Write down all your fears, big and small. Try to get to the core of each fear. What belief do you hold about yourself that would make this fear real? Is this belief really true?
- A Rampage of Gratitude. Journal all the things you’re grateful for in this moment, big and small. If you feel resistance about a certain topic, experience, or person – write all the things you’re grateful for about it.
- Drop into Presence. Spend time in nature. Slow down when you walk and appreciate what you see on your path. Look at the sunset. Smile at the passerby, especially the children. Connect with a puppy. They hold the vibration of unconditional love.
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Love,
Ashmi
