Here is my process for finding alignment with your heart and dreams – one of the most popular questions I get asked by clients and friends.
I believe there’s two parts to finding alignment on your life path.
First, alignment is about making sure what you SAY you want is what your heart REALLY wants.
Then, when you know what your heart really wants, make sure you BELIEVE you can have it. Your mind, body, and heart must all get behind this belief and feel that it can happen.
Putting it simply:
What you say you want = What your heart really wants = What you believe you can have
[Clarity & Alignment + Belief & Deservability]
When you do this, nothing can stop you from creating the life of your dreams.
Here is my process for finding alignment and then getting to a place where you believe you can have it:
1. Clarity and Alignment
If you don’t know what your heart really wants yet, let’s get there first.
This is the time for daydreaming and imagining, without limits. There is no need to figure out the logistics, like how to make it happen or how to make money doing it.
First, find a quiet place. Take a deep breath into your belly, hold, and let it out with a loud sigh. Do this a few times until you find yourself feeling calm. This step is essential! It helps you tune into your heart.
Grab a piece or paper or journal, and write down all the things you want in life, if you could experience anything. Start with a blank canvas, and let go of all the things you thought you should want or be.
Stay general – there’s no need to go into the specifics. For example: I want work that makes me feel inspired and alive, the ability to work from anywhere, a community of loving friends, personal and spiritual growth, a beautiful relationship, lots of travel, paid to be myself, etc.
Let it be free-flow and write whatever comes to mind.
Now, we can get more specific. Journal your responses to these questions below. It helps to write or list what comes to mind first without thinking too much about it. You will be surprised by what comes out.
Note: There is no need to come up with an END GOAL or ultimate purpose. This is just an exercise to start opening the mind to what it may have been closed off to before.
- What kind of person do I want to be?
- What did I love doing as a child?
- What was I doing when I felt most alive, inspired, or MYSELF growing up?
- What topics do I gravitate toward (in conversation, while browsing the web, in bookstores, on Instagram, events and workshops, etc.)
- What kind of people do I admire, and why? What careers or ways of being/living have piqued my interest? Who awes me? (This can be people you know or people you’ve come across online.)
- If I could help anyone in the world, what type of person would I help?
- What am I good at? (Be as general or specific as you want)
- What comes easily to me, that might not to most people? What have others noticed and commented on?
- What am I curious about? What do I spend a lot of time thinking about?
- What am I doing when it feels like time is flying by?
And answer these golden questions:
- If I could be paid to PLAY, how would I spend my day?
- If I could be paid to BE ME, what would an ideal day look like?
- If I could be paid to SERVE, what would I do and who would I help?
Look at your answers. Notice any patterns or themes? Is there anything that stands out and makes your heart jump? Is there anything that scares you?
Write down a shorter list of themes you notice.
Gut check: Ask yourself — Is this what my heart wants? Or is it coming from my ego or fear (ie. a need to be seen, or a ‘safe’ way to make money fast)?
If you find this exercise hard, another way to get there is through guided meditations and hypnosis to tap into your subconscious. [Email or DM me on Instagram and I can send you a YouTube link to someone who does amazing guided meditations for meeting your future self.]
2. Belief and Deservability
Look at the list of all the things you love and want to be.
What doubts and limiting beliefs come to mind?
Look at each item on the list. How does each feel in your body? Is there any sense of uneasiness or nervousness? Any fears that you’re not good enough or can’t do it?
Often, limiting beliefs are based in a feeling of unworthiness:
- I’m not good enough
- I can’t do that
- Who am I to want that?
- What will people think?
- That’s just a hobby
- Who would pay for that?
Write down what all the the voices of resistance in your mind are saying.
Look at each fear, one by one. Is it true? Does it absolutely need to be true?
What is a better-feeling, reassuring thought you can replace it with? Write down all of your positive qualities and why you ARE worthy and deserving.
If it still feels unbelievable, scale it back a bit. Can you believe something a bit closer to where you are now?
For example, if you can’t believe you can be a world-renowned full-time artist right now, can you believe you can be an artist and sell your work on the side?
Now how does that feel in your body?
If your beliefs are deeply rooted, it will take some more work. You might need to let go of some foundational beliefs. Your heart may want something that you’ve been telling yourself your whole life you can’t have – because of all these reasons why you can’t. Or it might want something that goes completely against who you thought you “should” become.
If I told you that you’re walking into the life of your dreams – the career, the relationship, etc. right NOW – and it is all yours – is there any resistance that comes up?
Often, we push away what we really want because part of us is afraid to have it.
For example, you might think the career of your dreams comes with a bigger spotlight, more responsibility, more people judging you – and it’s safer to stay small.
With awareness, you can look at each fear and reprogram them the same way as above.
Does it have to be true? What is another, more positive way to look at it?
For example – with the career of your dreams – you’ll be able to delegate more, you’ll have more experience and confidence, it doesn’t have to come with a bigger spotlight, you’ll be able to handle each step as it comes, etc.
Emotion as a Guiding Compass to Alignment
Tune into the emotion of excitement, and notice it each time you feel it. Emotion is the guiding compass pointing you to your heart’s alignment. Excitement tells you you’re going in the direction of your alignment. This is similar to following your intuition – but some people find it easier to tune into their excitement.
This is the formula I learned from Darryl Anka:
Follow your highest excitement, in every moment, with no attachment to the outcome.
Ask yourself: What is the most exciting thing I can do right now?
Then do it. Even if it looks totally random. Keep asking yourself this as often as you can. The dots will connect – excitement shows that they are connected.
At this point, you’ll have a general idea of what excites you. What lights you up. The things that make you feel alive. It might be a list of a few seemingly disconnected things. That’s perfect.
We put so much pressure on ourselves to come up with our ultimate purpose, it feels forever elusive.
It doesn’t have to be set in stone!
Your excitement will evolve. Your purpose will continue to expand and grow. Your life will turn out beyond what you can imagine now. So there’s no need to attach to any outcome, any way it HAS to be. We cannot figure out HOW to make it happen. That is not your job.
When you follow your highest excitement, in every moment, with no attachment to the outcome — YOU ARE ALIGNED.
It will start very general and may look like a random mix of interests, but this will get more specific as you keep going. Ideas, opportunities, and experiences will continue flowing your way to help you clarify what you want as you go.
FOR EXAMPLE: I started painting again, just for fun. I felt inspired to post my painting on Facebook. Hundreds of people commented, and a handful asked to buy my art. I felt so excited! I learned how to make art prints and open an art shop on my website. I started posting more of my art and writing, with confidence. And this week, a company reached out asking me to be part of their art exhibition show in February!
I realized that the mission behind my art aligns with other things I love – writing and coaching. They are all part of my soul expression of love and intention for transformation around the world.
The dots connect, but often you can only see it retrospectively. Excitement is the theme that shows you it’s all connected, and you are right on track.
Throughout this Process: Rest, Reflect, and Feel Good
It’s easy to feel discouraged on this path to finding alignment. It’s common to feel like you’re stuck in limbo. And you start questioning why you’re not seeing much progress.
The biggest change – and progress – happens WITHIN first, before you can see results externally. Reprogramming your subconscious, shifting limiting beliefs, and getting clear on your vision and deservability — this is massive work. So much life-changing progress is happening beneath the surface.
And it WILL change your external reality.
The key is to stay positive during this time. Reassure yourself that you’re right where you need to be. Feel grateful for all the blessings that are here and all that is coming – as if it’s already here. Expect and know that it is yours.
Feel the ease, freedom, and joy of having what you want – as if you’re already living it right now.
This brings you to a state of calm and gratitude. And this is the energy that keeps you open to receiving more and more.
Finding alignment is a continual process. Be sure to check in with your body. Ask yourself: How does this feel in my body, mind, heart, and gut? When you’re tired or uninspired, rest. Ask yourself if there’s a more fun or effortless way you can do something.
Dedicate time to reflect daily – whether it’s through meditation, journaling, taking a walk, or any way that feels exciting to you. Often, inspired actions will come from this place of stillness. An idea will come up, or a new method or project, and it will stir your heart. Follow it.
Here are some affirmations to try on:
- I am always guided to ideas, opportunities, and inspiration
- I am exactly where I’m meant to be
- There is no way I can mess this up
- I am good enough, just the way I am
- I can create anything I want
- Everything is coming to me easily and in perfect timing
- My heart knows what I want, and all I need to do is relax and receive
For daily writing and insights, find me on Instagram @ashmi.path and Facebook.
You might also like: Is Alignment the New Hustle? The Power of Both Alignment and Hustle
Written with love,
Ashmi
