Category: Love

I know I’m here to serve by following my joys and sharing my heart. But why is it so hard to be myself?⁣⁣ I asked myself this question, and here’s what came…⁣⁣ You have spent your life too concerned about what others think, judging yourself through their eyes.

For most of my life, I was extremely sensitive and easily triggered by those closest to me. Often, I’d lash out in anger at my parents when I felt criticized, controlled, or told what to do. In relationships, I’d brood for hours when my insecurities were tagged.

“Do I love myself?” I asked this question, and here’s what came through… You are starting to. But it is still limited. You love yourself because you feel good about yourself and your life.

I really thought I loved myself. I love my life, I feel confident, and I have pretty high self-esteem. But high self-esteem is not the same as self love. Do I love myself when I feel sad, ugly, hurt, or embarrassed? Do I love myself when I’m failing and weak?

We humans think of time linearly. Often thinking about the future and dwelling on the past, we rarely scratch the surface of the present moment. We’re unconscious to the present moment, unaware of our being as we focus on doing.

You sit across from me, hands in my hands. We breathe slowly, softly gazing into each other’s eyes. Our breaths fall into sync, chests rising and falling. Your face blurs and all I see is your beautiful, hazel and golden-speckled left eye.

Walking down the street on my first day in Ubud, Bali, I felt overwhelmed by this uplifting energy. There was a deep sense of peace in the air. Everything seemed perfect, except for these small interruptions.

In the emergency room of a quiet hospital, a heart stops beating. And hours later, it comes to life again in another body. Beating with renewed energy…

The hour before a goodbye is the most bittersweet. It’s helplessness, nostalgia, and that sore pain in the back of your throat. But most overwhelming…